fucking mondays

FOR SALE: Slightly used

2008-04-14T22:01:00.001-07:00

it's free!

2008-04-14T21:55:00.001-07:00

wet fail

2008-04-14T00:44:00.001-07:00

via: blame it

morefail

2008-03-28T01:54:00.001-07:00

good I fount the fail blog

Fail-addiction

2008-03-28T01:51:00.001-07:00

I'm getting addicted to FAIL stuff....

google for google

2008-03-28T01:43:00.001-07:00

What would Google.com look like if it had to be designed for Search Engine Optimization In Google
http://www.meangene.com/google/design_for_google.html

Dirty Sanchez & more ;)

2008-03-28T01:42:00.001-07:00

hi,
have you ever heard about "dirty sanchez"?
now you know it.

http://www.ericwebster.net/2003/07/the_dirty_sanchez_more.php

Anal Boot - An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game.

Angry Dragon, The - Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon. The harder you laugh, the angrier she'll look. Magic.

Antlers - Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the nipples.

Australian Death Grip - The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great opportunity for wagering among friends.

Bargoyle - The hideous old hair - spray hag who seems to live at your local watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of dollars a night on video - poker, and makes sexually threatening comments to frightened college freshmen.

Bismark, The - Another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to spew, pull out and shoot all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and jism together.

Blumpkin, The - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her suck you off while you're on the shitter.

Bronco, The - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

Bustard - A very rude bus driver.

Butt Rodeo - When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!

Cajun Hot Stick - Chew some tobacco, spit it on your dick and stick it up a girl's ass. Named this because chewing tobacco burns sensitive skin.

Chili Dog, The - You take a dump on the girl's chest and then titty fuck her.

Clitourist - A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie: "Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."

Cold Faithful - Blowing your visibly steaming load outside in the winter time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski lift.

Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.

Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch - The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to force a large cold bottle of Coke into her mouth. Shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress any friends in the room.

Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers deep into her starfish, then reach around and wipe the residue on her upper lip, providing her a mustache.

Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

Double Fishhook - From the doggy - style position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.

Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will make her arc her back and tense her arse muscles, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

Dutch Oven, The - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.

Errol Flynn (Much Like Dirty Sanchez) - A time honoured event in which, while laying the bone doggy style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit moustache. At the same time pull her hair back from her forehead. This makes her look like Errol Flynn.

Esplanade - To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Fish Eye, The - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper. Thereupon, she turns around in a one - eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

Flaming Amazon, The - This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flatulence - The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Flying Camel, The - As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.

Fountain of You, The - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in his/her face.

Fur Ball, The - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.

Grand Pappy Smash - To beat your meat so hardcore that it starts to chafe and bleed.

Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle - ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).

Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking a dump.

Golden Shower - Any form of peeing on a girl. (aka: watersports)

Homolic Maneuver, The - Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a choking victim's windpipe.

Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest. (a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

Houdini, The - Going at it doggy style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit hard, but quietly, on her back so she thinks that you have come. When she turns around unleash a blast into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering at what a great guy you are, and how you managed it.

Insta-gasm - Pre-mature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman. ie: "She was so fine, I had an insta - gasm before I could get her clothes off!"

Intoxicourse - Having sexual intercourse whilst piss - drunk.

Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

Mangry - Describing the anger of women who are angry at men, specifically. "She's such a bitch, she's just plain mangry."

Manual Deconstipation - This is where you get out the hand cream and go in manually for the hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and pulling it out a piece at a time.

New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down on her, you puke on her box. Happy trails!

Old Jism Trail - The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of someone who has just finished fellating a senior citizen.

Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

Post Poodum Syndrome - The feeling of depression felt after successful removal of a hammerhead. The excitement has passed, and you must now find something else to occupy your time.

Ram, The - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're can is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.

Rear Admiral, The - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

Rusty Anchor - After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the recipient gets to enjoy a good fudgesicle.

Rusty Trombone - When someone tosses someone's salad and jerks them off at the same time.

Sandpiper - A stovepiping on the local beach, desert, or playground sandbox. Also known as the Sandblast.

Lucky Pierre - the middle man in a three way buttfuck. Also known as the french sandwich.

Screwnicorn, The - When a dyke puts her strap - on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

Short in the Cord, A - A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer to Testicular Tendon Tangle Syndrome. Ex. "Oh fuck! My nuts are killing me... I think I've got a short in the cord."

Smoking Pole - Self Explanatory. Don't use fire.

Snowmobile, The - When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

Split pissonality - When you're taking a leak and you get two streams out of the one hole!

Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.

Stranger, The - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

Stuffucking - The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. (see also; Fugly)

Tea bag - As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot water. An old favorite.

Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where one person is forced to chow starfish with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jello, jism, etc.

Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip off her chin so it looks like that red shit on the turkey's chin.

Valsalva - The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.

Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use; hence, western.

Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

Zombie Mask, The - While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash - barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

Panic Eggs

2008-03-28T01:41:00.001-07:00

panic eggs

Alligator Powered Cart

2007-12-12T10:44:00.001-08:00

faces in places

2007-10-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

dancing almonds

2007-10-01T21:33:00.001-07:00

have a nice fucking working day

2007-09-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

visions of the future

2007-09-23T20:04:00.001-07:00

french do better cheese than envision the future...

French Prints Show the Year 2000 (1910)

The Electric Train From Paris to Beijing

believe spray

2007-09-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

High-Tech Car Radar [Hong Kong]

2007-09-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

Spotted on 13 September 2007 in Hong Kong

Two policemen, one is holding a speed radar, and the other is pointing which char they should track...
Note the seats also...

Frankly, I thought Hong Kong had more advanced technologies than that... ;)
although there's other less tech solutions like using "cardboard kids"

Office timetable

2007-09-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

Internet People

2007-09-09T19:00:00.001-07:00

how many of them do you know?
*depending on the answer you should be worried

clipped from www.youtube.com

America's world

2007-08-31T22:27:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.demonbaby.com

change youself!

2007-08-26T08:23:00.001-07:00

top 10 physically modified people

clipped from www.deputy-dog.com

bible spoiler

2007-08-23T01:14:00.001-07:00

MS Paint

2007-08-19T19:35:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.youtube.com

cyclic evolution

2007-08-19T19:26:00.001-07:00

from cell to cell

clipped from www.frogview.com

Evolution

2007-08-12T22:34:00.000-07:00

I am your leader

2007-08-01T10:51:00.001-07:00

clipped from youtube.com

WTF lisa simpson underwear

2007-08-01T07:54:00.001-07:00

clipped from chickencrap.com

fuckinglongname

2007-07-31T22:30:00.001-07:00

you thought Hong Kong street names were difficult to remember?
what about this freaking long name from a New Zeland village?

you need A3 size postcards!!!!

it sucks, doesn't it?

clipped from upload.wikimedia.org

Dunk Almost Takes Kids Head Off

2007-07-29T22:05:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.break.com

why men die before woman

2007-07-29T21:54:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.elperroflaco.com

bullshit

2007-07-22T22:12:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.carlpei.com

A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.

roast my weenie

2007-07-22T21:48:00.001-07:00

+18 bbq gadget

clipped from nerdapproved.com

best dog costume ever

2007-07-15T20:27:00.001-07:00

clipped from es.gizmodo.com

washing dishes

2007-07-15T20:23:00.001-07:00

clipped from flickr.com

bunny

2007-07-10T07:35:00.001-07:00

clipped from designcorner.blinkr.net

hong kong fist fuck font

2007-07-08T21:08:00.001-07:00

yeah! you can use it in your next powerpoint!

clipped from www.dafont.com

Hong Kong Fist Fuck
Custom preview

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Hong Kong Fist Fuck by Toxic Type site
in Fancy > Destroy

Download
PC / Mac OS X
HONGKFF_.TTF
First seen on DaFont : before 2005

toylet behavior

2007-07-08T09:19:00.001-07:00

clipped from farm1.static.flickr.com

White and Nerdy

2007-07-02T21:00:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.youtube.com

f*tie

2007-06-23T17:46:00.001-07:00

clipped from niceonebrother.com

dog + hidden cam = japanese upskirt

2007-06-17T06:21:00.001-07:00

the best hidden cam ever!

go! [ video ]

*[NSFW - not safe for work]

mirror

2007-06-17T05:24:00.001-07:00

clipped from tickleyou.blogspot.com

Microsoft Re-Designs the Ipod Packaging

2007-06-10T22:06:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.youtube.com

Ooops! ....

2007-06-07T10:20:00.001-07:00

you need to see this video!

clipped from www.metacafe.com

enjoy your lunch break

2007-06-03T09:00:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.metacafe.com

it's fuck O'clock

2007-05-29T19:30:00.001-07:00

clipped from bitsontheside.co.nz

Who Brought the Kitty?

2007-05-28T08:16:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.goldyworld.com

road skate

2007-05-27T19:21:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.youtube.com

reflectporn

2007-05-20T10:21:00.001-07:00

wear your pants if you take a photo to a shiny object that you plan to sell in eBay...

clipped from www.perfectbluesky.com

delicious

2007-05-19T11:37:00.001-07:00

clipped from ziza.ru

The differences between men and women

2007-05-16T08:41:00.001-07:00

clipped from sprott.physics.wisc.edu

interaction design

2007-05-14T09:08:00.001-07:00

clipped from pic7.piczo.com

[weird] signage

2007-05-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

dollinsect

2007-05-13T09:45:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.wonderlandblog.com

we love you barbie!

2007-05-10T10:39:00.001-07:00

clipped from myspace.drewpydraws.com

Pull apart girl - Magic Tric

2007-05-09T09:09:00.001-07:00

does anybody knows how is this done????
it's freaking amazing!

clipped from video.google.com

woman wanted

2007-05-08T09:33:00.001-07:00

clipped from funny.karmark.org

more shit to the marketplace

2007-05-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Hasbro plans on launching a musical toothbrush called "Tooth Tunes" reports the WSJ.

"When pressed to the teeth, the toothbrush renders a recorded riff from a pop star that lasts two minutes -- precisely the amount of time dentists say children should spend brushing their teeth.

How does it work? "The two-minute recording is stored on a microchip no bigger than a dot atop the letter i. Push a button on the toothbrush, and a minicomputer starts playing the song. Sound waves are transported through the transducer to the front teeth, traveling from there to the jawbone and then to the inner ear.

Hasbro is in talks with several recording artists about getting rights to their recordings. Many artists would probably consider a gig in a toothbrush beneath their talents. But others might welcome the daily exposure in their young fans' lives."

kinetic sculptures

2007-05-06T10:35:00.001-07:00

houses in strange places

2007-05-06T10:31:00.001-07:00

clipped from www.rockinghamremembered.com

Monkey Steals the peach

2007-05-06T08:59:00.001-07:00

clipped from imagechan.com

Revenge CD + Earplugs

2007-05-06T08:56:00.001-07:00

for those annoying neighbours

clipped from www.strangemall.com

Revenge CD + Earplugs… Ah, Revenge is sweet, especially when extracted from your annoyingly loud neighbors! This CD features some really disturbing noises… unforgettable tracks like Unhappy Dog, the agonizing squeal of Violin Practice, and the exquisitely excruciating din of House Party.Don the handy earplugs that we�ve thoughtfully included, crank up the volume, and give your neighbors a taste of their own medicine.

american IQ

2007-05-06T08:10:00.001-07:00

walking on the water

2007-05-06T08:05:00.000-07:00